Demotivated Retiree Struggles To Find Purpose in Life
I recently celebrated my 68th birthday but I feel far from being happy these days. I wake up most days feeling tired and there is little motivation to do anything - whether at home or even outdoors. I used to enjoy playing sports in my younger days but since my knees have been giving me problems in the last two years, I have mostly abandoned my physical activities. My wife complains that I have been keeping away from company which perhaps explains why I feel bored all the time. But the mere idea of having to talk or chat with people seems to bring on more dread than pleasure. What is wrong with me?
Hi, nothing is really wrong with you. These are your retirement years, or shall I say , your golden years that ought to be enjoyed and far from unhappiness as you have expressed here. At 68, you should look at life with greater joy and happiness as you are free from the pressures of going to work and bringing up children and have more time for yourself and your spouse. All is not lost now that you are willing to look for solutions to be a happier person like you used to be before. The very fact that you are willing to talk about this lack of motivation to move and socialise is the first step to recovering the happiness of the past. To begin with, you ought to have a plan or goal or purpose in life; otherwise, your life will look meaningless and you will be bored easily. Take a step back and reflect on your present state of life . Well, you know the root cause - as you say, it is all due to your not moving or exercising at all because you have knee pain and aches. Start by being kind to yourself. One quick sure way is self-care and self-love; and if you know what to do, you can revert the situation easily. I must also tell you that almost everyone goes through such feelings of demotivation and lack of energy at some stage of his or her life. It is a natural feeling and we mustn't let that transient feeling affect our happiness. You deserve all that joy in your life in your senior years, and from your letter you seem to want that. That's half the battle won. Now let's get down to business. The first thing you ought to do is start the day right with a fixed ritual. The moment you open your eyes, thank God you are alive! Say a short prayer or meditate even as you are lying down. Then stretch while you are lying in bed. State some affirmations to yourself aloud such as " I am happy! I am energised! I feel good!" Take a moment now to quickly reflect on the many blessings in your life besides being alive. You have a companion. Not many are fortunate to have companionship in their senior years. Lots of people in their late 60s are lonely. This heartfelt gratitude will certainly bring a lot of joy and happiness in your life and turn you from a pessimistic demotivated person to a moderate optimist. Once you start your day right with optimism and a positive mindset, you have actually set the tone for the rest of the day. You must have a fixed time to get up every morning and a fixed time to retire too. Good habits such as these enable you to form a routine or what we call energy rituals to move you throughout the day. This will lead you to eat at the right time and perhaps even take a nap during the day when your body is tired. Next, integrate gratitude into your morning routine of motion. Shift your perspective from someone who doesn't like to exercise towards a mindset that will invigorate your body to release good hormones such as dopamine which is associated with pleasure and reward. Go intentionally to a playground or park. It is a myth and a misconception to think that if you have knee issues you must stay indoors and stop all forms of physical exercise. On the contrary, there are lots of stretching exercises and low impact physical exercises that you can start slowly and increase gradually. At first, you may not feel like doing as much as you used to in your younger days as an agile sportsman but medical research tells you that knee pain shouldn't stop you from staying physically active. You can try Nordic Walking, a low impact fitness walk, that will help strengthen your knee joints and muscles besides being good for your heart and the entire body circulation. It will help reduce inflammation and pain. Nordic Walking has proven to assist lots of seniors with knee issues and make their muscles stronger as it is a total body workout. Just begin with moderate exercise and if you have any sharp pain, then modify and reduce the length of duration of exercise. Water therapy is excellent as another low impact exercise that is recommended for those with knee problems. Cycling motion in the water is helpful. You do these with water aquabells. Other exercises that have low impact are yoga and slow walking . Avoid high impact and begin gradually and increase the walking distance and speed slowly. Another good thing to motivate yourself is to form a small circle of like-minded people in your neighbourhood. Exercising in groups is very motivating because we socialise and share common areas of interest. Slowly you will make more friends and your circle gets wider. There are always activities you can do together and you can start small. Slowly you can travel together and this brings more happiness as you begin to learn from others and even have meals together. It is a known fact that not all people love chatting and socialising as there are some who are reserved and love their own company. But we are by nature social beings and love companionship and the sense of belonging and doing things together. Chloe Foster, a clinical psychologist says, "Shyness in itself, is quite common and normal." But when you find the right company, you will soon look forward to doing things together and slowly more and more friends will be part of your group. So, in a nutshell, all is not lost with sensitive knees. With an active lifestyle resulting in adequate sleep, the right diet and socialising, your life will be more fun and enjoyable. Life will certainly be far from boring; your spouse and you can once again lead a happy healthy life in your senior years.